It’s February, which means symbols of love and romance are front and center every time you walk into a store or scroll through social media. And if you find yourself in a loving relationship you may not mind seeing the roses, balloons, and heart-shaped minutiae. But if you’re not in a relationship, or in a relationship that is contentious or hurtful, this “season of love” can be particularly painful.

We want to offer a few tips on how you can treat yourself with extra care around Valentine’s Day, and every day, if your relationship status is feeling less than ideal.

1. Make it all about you

   Being selfish on your own behalf is sometimes exactly what the doctor ordered. Instead of waiting for someone else to make you feel special, why not take that on yourself? Treating yourself to your favorite meal, a massage, a walk through your favorite park or museum, or even a visit to a nearby town you’ve never seen, can boost your feelings of wellbeing. Bonus: studies show that people who receive a treat, even from themselves, see an increase in their self-control. 

   Psychcentral.com says, “It’s a Secret of Adulthood: If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn’t selfish.”

2. Do some good

   We get it – when you’re feeling down in the dumps, it can be hard to look outside of yourself. However, it’s been shown that performing good deeds can have a positive impact on the giver, as well as the receiver. Mentalhealth.org reports that doing a good deed can improve self-esteem, happiness, and mood. Good deeds don’t have to take a lot of time or money, and can be as easy as surprising neighbors with baked goods or reaching out to someone who might feel lonely. This website has some “outside of the box” ideas for how to do some good (while reaping the benefits yourself, too)  52 Good Deed Ideas To Make A Positive Impact – Good Deeds Day

3. Avoid triggers

   Take yourself away from the restaurants, romantic movies, and mushy love songs. Some people find success with simply ignoring the holiday, while others recommend doing something completely out of the ordinary. Try a new workout, sign up for a beginner’s art class to hone a new skill, hike a new trail, or visit a place that lets you paint your own pottery – the opportunities to try new things are everywhere if we have our eyes open. And focusing on expanding your horizons instead of dwelling on your relationship status might be what you need.

4. Need help? Get help!

   Last and most importantly, if your current relationship is abusive (physically, mentally, verbally) or makes you feel unsafe, do not hesitate to seek help and support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is a good place to start: Domestic Violence Support | National Domestic Violence Hotline

   Alternately, if you’re experiencing feelings of depression and/or extreme loneliness, there are numerous options for help. One resource we recommend that provides immediate support and be connected to other resources is Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: SAMHSA – Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

   Your doctor can also provide other valuable resources and guidance for the mental health support you need.

As your emergency care partner in El Mirage, we care about our surrounding neighbors, and that includes YOU. Your wellbeing will always be important to the El Mirage Emergency Room. If you’re needing support this month, or any month, we hope you’ll value yourself enough to prioritize your own wellbeing.